It has finally come to this...

The idea for this blog came to me four years ago, in a Christmas Tree lot.

My husband and I dutifully browsed all the trees, chose our favorite, got the attention of a sales-dude, and made our way to the li'l motor-home turned cashier's office. And there I saw "it." On the ledge of the pay window.

An "arrangement" of fir boughs in a green plastic dish, with a cheap made-in-China Santa skewered into the center, and THEN doused with fake snow spray. Even Santa was choking! And it was for sale! "Buy a tree, and increase your holiday cheer by bringing home this exile from the island of misfit toys. Someone must have stolen it off the Abominable Snowman's coffee table! PUT IT BACK!"

I didn't have the ability to take a photo at the time, but that festive travesty burned into the depths of my consciousness, and I vowed, one day, I would document this crime of nature, and others, for the world to know -- !! A REAL florist did not create this "THING!" It was smudged together in a cold, dark, warehouse someplace, using un-skilled seasonal labor, by a person whose highest and best use may only be drinking the last dregs of coffee and not brewing a new pot!

There is a DIFFERENCE between "schlock" and "design," between the clueless meshing-together of material, and the careful, meticulous creation of beauty.

There. I said it.

Schlock, BEWARE. We are onto you. And you just may not escape dissection by the professionals of the "Floral Crime Scene Investigators."